I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
