Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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