bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize