i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize