I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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