So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize