I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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