I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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