So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize