I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
