you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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