his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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