I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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