you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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