you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
