So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
