NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
