She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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