She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
