i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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