I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
