Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish you could order shots online.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
