It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
