I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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