do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
