just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
