If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
