Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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