Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
