Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
