Pappa wants mamma naked
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
