from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize