How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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