idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
