i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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