at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
