OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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