We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize