Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize