Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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