I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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