if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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