tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize