it wasn't lemon gatorade
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
