That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
