mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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