But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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