It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
