He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
