i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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